Introverts get a bad rap in the dating world sometimes—they like to stay home, they can be awkward first dates, and they may enjoy solitude a little too much sometimes. But contrary to popular belief, opposites don’t always attract, and sometimes the best mate for an introvert is another introvert. 

Introverts can easily date other introverts because they tend to have the same energy levels, common interests, and communication styles. However, there are some downsides to introverts dating other introverts, such as passivity and avoidance of confrontation in the relationship. 

Introverts can make great dates for each other, but it depends on the chemistry between the two and how good they are at communicating with each other. Keep reading to learn more about introversion and how it works on the dating scene with other introverts. 

Can Two Introverts Have a Relationship?

The answer is yes! There are introverted couples who live happily all over the world and have been in marriages that lasted for decades. There are many personality traits that introverted people share that make them naturally good housemates to each other. 

That being said, introverts do have some difficulties in dating that make dating other introverts a little more difficult for them, at least at first.

Introverts Can Be Awkward First Dates

One stereotype that revolves around introverts is that they can be somewhat awkward on a first date. There are a few reasons why this may be true: 

• Introverts take a little while to warm up to people. Oof, personally, it takes me a lifetime to finally warm up to someone, or sometimes, it doesn’t happen at all. Similarly to me, many introverts have closed-off, quiet personalities and don’t immediately take to new people. Instead, they sit back and observe others at first until they feel more comfortable speaking freely. On a first date, this can lead to a feeling like a lack of chemistry if both introverts are overly reserved and nervous.
• Introverts would prefer to be home than out. Since most introverts would rather be relaxing in their own house than they would at a restaurant or a club, this means that introverts out on a date may give off the vibe that they’d rather be somewhere else. This can send mixed signals on a first date.
• Introverts don’t usually enjoy socialization for socialization’s sake. While extraverts enjoy learning new things about people and chit-chatting, most introverts don’t enjoy small talk. And that’s an understatement:) But small talk is an integral part of getting to learn how to know someone you’re not familiar with, so this part of the dating game can be awkward and difficult for introverts.
• Introverts aren’t inclined to keep the conversation going. Because they’re not into small talk, introverts may be inclined to lapse into silence when they feel like they have nothing significant to say or to add to what seems like a meaningless conversation. On a first date, too many of these silences can be awkward since the couple doesn’t know each other well enough for it to be a comfortable silence. 

These quirks and idiosyncrasies can make it harder for introverts to click with each other at first. But as long as they are able to move past the initial awkwardness of getting to know each other, introverts are often able to make great mates and partners to each other. 

Reasons Dating is Hard for Introverts

Introverts can have an easier time dating other introverts, but dating, in general, tends to be difficult for introverts across the board. Here are some of the reasons why: 

• Social exhaustion: Unlike extraverts, who become recharged energetically through social interaction, introverts recharge through time on their own. This can mean that introverts in a long-term relationship where they’re constantly around another person may feel suffocated or like they can’t get enough time to themselves to decompress socially. Introverts can find it difficult to date after a full week of socially interacting at work or school.
• Overthinking: Introverts tend to overthink social situations, and this can lead to miscommunications in a long-term or dating relationship. This issue is compounded in introverts who have issues with self-esteem and social insecurity.
• Communication difficulties: Introverts can sometimes be avoidant of conflict because they are avoidant of overt communication in general, preferring to communicate through body language cues and more subtle language. This can make an introvert difficult to read in a romantic relationship and can lead to frustration in their partner.
• Social anxiety: Some introverts, don’t just prefer solitude. They actually have a degree of social anxiety that makes them more likely to naturally avoid social interactions. This not only makes it harder for them to warm up on a date, but it also makes it harder for people to even approach them to ask for one in the first place. 

These traits that show up in introverted personalities can make dating harder, but the truth is that dating is difficult for everyone whether they’re an introvert or an extravert. It’s all about letting go of your insecurities and trying to meet the other person as they come. 

Advantages of Two Introverts Dating Each Other

While dating, in general, can be hard for a lot of introverts, there are several benefits that introverts can get from dating each other. Dating another introvert takes off a lot of the social pressure that an introvert otherwise feels when trying to date an extrovert.

Both Introverts in a Relationship Enjoy Solitude and Understand It

One advantage of two introverts dating each other is that they both usually have a strong respect for solitude and solitary activities. That means that even if they’re in the same room, they’re often off doing their own thing—one person might be reading a book while the other person browses on the Internet. 

• Two introverts who have good chemistry together can easily fall into companionable silences without feeling awkward about it. If an extrovert was in a room with someone who seemed to be ignoring them, this would cause a level of self-consciousness and insecurity. But introverts understand that you don’t necessarily have to be engaging with someone directly to be socially bonding with them.
• Introverts are also less inclined to become jealous of the other person’s hobbies or solitary activities since they understand the inherent need to have them. They don’t take offense that their significant other would rather spend time alone than spend time with them since they also value solitude for peace and relaxation.  

Both Introverts in a Relationship Are Homebodies

Another thing that is helpful when an introvert dates an introvert is that both individuals tend to be attracted to more low-key, domestic hobbies, and leisure activities. 

This means that there’s a lot less conflict involving one person wanting to go out and the other person not wanting to go out. 

Many introverts are just as happy to stay at home curled up on the couch with each other binge-watching Netflix as they are to go see a movie together, which can lead to a profound level of domestic comfort between two introverts at home. 

If they get comfortable enough with each other, it can be difficult to get them to go out at all since they derive most of their need for socialization from the other person.

Both Introverts in a Relationship Are Capable of Deep Conversation

Introverts may not enjoy small talk, but all of them enjoy deep, profound conversations about topics that they find interesting such as philosophy, art, or music. 

This means that when two introverts are dating, they may take a minute to open up to each other, but once they do, they can have some of the most intimate connections out of any romantic couple.

On some level, introverts understand that to truly develop a deep connection with another person; you have to open up and speak your true mind rather than falling back on platitudes or small talk. If introverts in a relationship can become comfortable enough with each other to open up completely, they can become deeply attached.

Both Introverts in a Relationship Tend to Enjoy Quiet

Many introverts have sensory sensitivities and prefer quiet and dim environments to loud and bright ones. When two introverts are dating or living together, this can mean domestic tranquility since one person’s loud habits aren’t inclined to disturb the other person.

Because both introverts in a relationship tend to enjoy quiet, their home environment tends to be peaceful. 

This, in turn, can foster peace and stability in the relationship. Chaos breeds chaos, and since introverts prefer a house that is calm and orderly, there tends to be less chaos around them in a relationship.

Problems That Introverts Have When Dating Introverts

Even though introverts tend to get along well in a romantic relationship, there are a few things that can cause them problems, both at the beginning of the relationship and once it’s been established. Here are some of the problems introverts sometimes run into when dating other introverts:

• Stability turns into stagnation. Because both people in the relationship are introverted and not inclined to push the boundaries of the relationship, the connection between two introverts that starts out feeling like stability can end up feeling like suffocation.
• Introverts can have problems with conflict resolution. Introverts tend to be passive when it comes to confrontations, which can lead to bottled up negative feelings and eventual meltdowns or blow-outs. While introverts may understand that they naturally avoid conflict, they must overcome this hesitation in order to communicate honestly in a romantic relationship. Otherwise, small conflicts can quickly snowball into relationship breakers.
• Both parties are inclined to be passive. Introverts may naturally sit back and wait for the other person to text first or wait to be invited out to do something. This is because, in social groups, introverts are usually invited along rather than being the ones doing the inviting. Introverts in a relationship have to break through this habit to make a point of initiating social activities with each other. 

Many of the problems that introverts have dating each other can be resolved by making a point to be more overt in communication than usual, and also by periodically doing new activities together so that the introverts can push each other out of their respective comfort zones. This can help keep the relationship fun and fresh without overwhelming it. 

How Do Two Introverts Start Dating?

Starting to date another introvert can be nerve-wracking if you’re both the quiet types, but there are a few things you can do to make the first date with another introvert go more smoothly. Here are some tips for getting the best out of your first few dates with another introvert: 

• Come prepared with topics of conversation. It’s easy to let a first date go off the rails if there are too many awkward silences, so check out some ice-breaking conversation topics before you go on your date, so you have something to talk about other than asking the other person about their interests. Talk about the things that are meaningful to you and the other person, and look for where the over lap is. Continue in that direction.
• Wear something comfortable and go somewhere comfortable. Wearing uncomfortable clothes or going to an uncomfortable environment (like a place you’ve never been before) can be very distracting to an introvert on a first date. Going someplace comfortable ensures that both you and your date will be as relaxed as you can be under the circumstances. 
• Don’t be afraid to have deep conversations. Introverts enjoy conversations that are more profound than the typical small talk found on a date, so don’t be afraid to stray into deeper conversational topics on the first date with another introvert. If anything, they will probably be put at ease by not being forced into having “another” small talk.
• Try to relax. It can be easy to get wound up and nervous on a first date if you’re already not a social butterfly, but it’s important to remember that there are no major consequences for a date going badly. You may as well sit back and enjoy it without worrying about how you’re being perceived by the other person.
• Texting is good for building a relationship between dates. Many introverts dislike phone conversations but enjoy lengthy text conversations where they can take the time to carefully consider their answers. Some introverts are also more comfortable communicating in writing than they are in face-to-face conversations or phone calls. 
• Get to know each other slowly. Many introverts are more comfortable in a relationship where intimacy is built up gradually rather than all at once. There’s no reason that you need to rush things that you do not want to rush. Go at your own pace. Establish your boundaries. Remember, you are looking to build a relationship with someone who has similar values— there’s absolutely no reason to settle for anything less!
• Once you’ve had a few dates, try hanging out at the house. In many cases, introverts can have a better time together in a more low-key environment, so think about moving your dates to less crowded places once you’ve become a little more comfortable with your introvert date.
• Silence is great, but words are necessary. Just because you and your introverted date are both quiet by nature doesn’t mean that you can just let conflicts be swept under the rug out of a desire not to discuss them. This is the kind of habit that leads to bigger conflicts later on in the relationship. 

Introverts may have a bit of a harder time warming up to other introverts during the dating process, but once they get to know each other better, there is usually the potential for a deep and intimate connection between them. 

Are Introverts Usually Attracted to Each Other?

Introverts may have an initial chemistry with each other, but it can be difficult for introverted couples to get a spark going since both individuals in the couple are passive in nature and not inclined to approach the other person even if they are attracted to them.

In contrast, introverts and extraverts often end up together because extraverts actively pursue the attentions and affections of introverts. While they find the personal habits of introverted people difficult to empathize with, extraverts who can compromise and provide enough solitude for their introvert can usually have a strong attraction for them. Introverts often enjoy being the “tag-along” socially, and extraverts are more than happy to facilitate this most of the time. 

However, an introvert/extravert relationship is more prone to problems as the relationship becomes established. 

The drastically different lifestyles of the two types can cause a major friction in more long-term relationships. With introvert/introvert relationships, the beginning of the relationship may be difficult, but once the introverts have passed beyond the point of being uncomfortable socially around each other, they can usually settle into a much more stable long-term relationship than introvert/extravert matches. 

Introverts Can Date Introverts Successfully

Even though they might not be as attracted to each other initially as an introvert may be to an extravert, there are a lot of domestic advantages to an introvert getting into a long-term romantic relationship with another introvert. Their shared communication styles and solitary hobbies can mean that they are more understanding of each other’s quirks than an introvert/extravert pair.