Everyone loves a bit of self-discipline here and there, but most of us are not able to sustain it. That’s because self-discipline is hard, really hard. And that’s not a surprise to anyone. The question is, does self-discipline get easier?
Truth is, yes and no.
Yes, you may get used to forcing yourself out of bed by 4am every day or running 15 miles every week. Of course it’s possible. But the difficult part is wether or not you can you sustain it. It doesn’t always get easier, since there is always a lurking danger of coming back to your old “comfortable” ways.
Particularly, we are more prone to lose all the progress and momentum, when we hit a rough patch in our lives. Or maybe we cut ourself some slack seeing other people around us every day not following our strict self-imposed rules. Or with time, you lose sight of the big picture and you forget the importance of why you went on that tough self-discipline road in the first place.
Then you gotta go through the same difficult steps and pep-talk again trying to convince yourself, why it’s all worth the struggle.
One of most common examples that comes to mind is failed dieting. Most people not only get back to their usual eating habits, but worse, they often gain more weight than what they had before they started their new habits.
Self-discipline itself is a paradox. It means you deliberately impose certain limits on yourself. You enforce specific rules to not do what your “ordinary self” normally would because you’re trying to achieve something you ordinarily wouldn’t.
You’re basically depriving yourself of certain things you are accustomed doing because you want to achieve a different outcome. And as long as you keep needing to deprive yourself of those things, it will always be hard.
Here’s the good news.
Your mindset.
It is possible for you to stop seeing those self-imposed restrictions and rules as “difficult” and “awful” and actually learn to enjoy those things so you can actually look forward to them. You can rewire your brain by changing how you look at things.
One of my favorite people that comes to mind any time I think of the word discipline is Jocko Willink. He has an amazing Youtube channel and podcast. This man is a pure 100% inspiration. If you struggle with self-discipline, and you need a little bit of motivation. Definitely check him out. He is the guy. Not to mention, his book “Extreme Ownership” is one of my favorite books I recommend everyone to read.
Self-discipline may not get any easier, but you can grow to like or even love what you do, and that certainly makes things easier in the long run.
Why does it work out this way? How does anybody actually start to like waking up at 4am or eating that kale or tofu balls for dinner? That’s part of what we’ll explore together in this article.
Self-discipline is the start of habits you want to form
Acts of self-discipline ideally begin with a goal, an objective or dream or even a wish that you have. It could be because you want to achieve some really worthy end, such as losing weight, ending an addiction, or becoming more productive.
Or maybe a different type of goals like learning how to speak Spanish so you can flirt with the cute guy next door. But whatever your reason for needing discipline, it’s because you want to do something you either cannot do at all or have problems maintaining.
When you want to really focus and commit to achieving your goals, that’s where self-discipline kicks in. That’s why it is described as the commitment to keep doing what it takes to achieve what you want.
But what most don’t know or think about is that self-discipline does not last forever. And It was never meant to. The purpose that self-discipline serves is kind of similar to the role a cast serves when you have a broken arm.
The cast protects your arm and ensures that it’s properly healed so you never experience that pain again (at least until you do something dumb and injure it again). But it’s a real struggle to have a cast and go about your every day life. And especially if it’s on your dominant arm, then life becomes so much more difficult.
Just the same way, self-discipline helps you gradually move in the direction you want. You’re in a position you ordinarily don’t want to be in, but you know it’s for your own good.
What happens to the cast when your arm fully heals? It comes off because you don’t need it anymore. In the same way, when you begin to experience the kind of life you desire, you don’t need self-discipline to continue that way. Because you love what you’re seeing and want more.
Therefore pushing you forward to develop even better habits. And brick by brick, you are making real progress.
But here’s a question. If self-discipline is something you throw off when you start growing into the habits you want to form, why doesn’t it ever get easier for some?
Well, the answer to that is simple. It’s because…
Self-discipline based on self-denial cannot be sustained in the long-run
Here’s why.
Humans are a bundle of feelings. We naturally want to do what feels good. We love comfort. Unfortunately, that’s not always a good thing. Far from it.
Regardless, it’s what we’re naturally inclined to and as a result, we instinctively seek pleasure instead of pain. Although, the common concept of self-discipline is that you deny yourself the pleasure of doing what you normally would for something else, it doesn’t work out all that well when you’re doing something you cannot grow to love.
No matter how many times you go to the gym, if you don’t actually start liking the process or at least a better looking body you gain as a result, it will never get easier.
You can practice all the self-discipline you want but if the results don’t make you feel good, then you’re basically wasting your time. You will eventually lose motivation and stop going.
So, how do you form a discipline-enforced routine that gets easier in the long run?
Sustainable self-discipline lies at the intersection of good feelings and desired habits
You’ll find increasingly less need for self-discipline when you’re targeting habits that really mean a lot to you when you achieve them.
When it starts to feel good that you’re being more productive, making more money or seeing the results you want, doing those things will feel easier. And you’ll start to do those things without having to impose limits on yourself.
But if you do try to accomplish goals that don’t make you feel good, one of two things will happen. It’ll either get increasingly difficult and you eventually stop or you’ll succeed and feel terrible every time you have to do it. Neither proposition is especially great:)
That’s why you should try to pick your goals carefully. It’s so important. Only commit to doing those things that feel rewarding to you and you’ll find that as time goes by, it feels increasingly easier to do those things.
If you want to know everything there is to know about habits and how to best form them, I suggest you read another amazing book I like, “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Very practical and easy to digest.
Is it okay if you still find it hard going?
Of course. It’s perfectly okay if it doesn’t feel so easy when you’re starting out. Self-discipline often involves a lot of trying, failing, and trying again. That’s life. So take it easy on yourself if it’s not feeling terribly easy right now. Don’t ever forget to treat yourself with kindness and love. So that you can treat others the same.
And even if you feel you’re already far along in the process but it’s not letting up, it’s still okay if it’s something you truly want. That’s why setting up the right goals for you, are so important.The key is that when the results come in, they should be something you’re proud of and makes you happy. That way you know you’re not barking up the wrong tree.
Remember that self-discipline is just there to guide you as far as it takes for you to start liking where you’re headed. As soon as you begin to look forward to enjoying the results of your hard work, you’ll catch the momentum. And no one knows what you can and can’t do. Believe in yourself. And go after it!
