What does it take to feel good about life? Happiness comes from within and so much of it depends on your mindset: when we choose to appreciate and participate in the perfect (to us) moments that surround us every day. The path to unlock your personal happiness is always inward.
However, we often tend to think that happiness comes from something external. There are so many things we do daily that seem to make us happy. Enjoying a perfect cup of coffee with a close friend can certainly bring joy! It can also feel great to finally buy a dream house, purchase a car, or finish setting up a bbq grill in the backyard for a quiet evening with the family.
However, happiness is fleeting. It doesn’t last. It always flactuates. Chasing “happines”, pleasures and material things are never a good idea. All you will get is insane amount of anxiety and frustration when you realize you’re chasing your tail, and you can’t catch it. Which in turn will make you even more anxious. Don’t get in that loop.
You can’t win that race. It’s not the race you want to participate in.
I think there is a better way of approaching this.
If you pay close attention to what actually happens in those moments when you feel genuinely happy, you will see something profound. It’s not the external things that make you happy. It’s the other way around.
Those external events that you think make you happy actually in reality trigger the internal raw materials which you already have in you that are needed to make happiness because there is an appreciation of the value those events contain.
So a better approach is not to chase your own tail by adding another thing you “need” to buy or get to be happy, but rather to learn a vital skill of appreciating what you already have in the moment with the same utmost profundity and enjoyment. Not only it’s possible, it’s necessary if your goal is to sustain happiness.
What would happen if you could bottle this appreciation and gratitude to experience real happiness more often?
One of the proven ways to get there is to take steps to become more mindful of the world around you.
Appreciating What Happens Around Us
The critical skill needed for understanding that happiness comes from within involves appreciation, acceptance, and mindfulness.
Perfect moments and miracles happen around you all of the time, but it is up to you to notice and savor them.
A child’s laugh, an act of kindness, a golden hour– these are the moments that make it feel good to be alive!
Discovering these moments is a skill that you can develop. Here is how you can get started on this process right now.
1. Take time to find gratefulness about something in your life.
I promise you, it’s there. Gratitude plays an instrumental role when it comes to happiness. They both always go together.
We can find plenty of terrible things in this world to complain about each day. Or you can also find several reasons to embrace gratefulness. If you woke up today, had some breakfast, and got to spend some time with family and friends, you have an incredible foundation for happiness to start growing.
Instead of pondering the things that don’t go your way each day, contemplate the positive aspects that do occur. Make deliberate effort to notice them and practice appreciation. What was it like to savor your favorite foods or drinks? Did moments happen that made you laugh? Did you make someone’s day?
When you think about how you felt during those positive times, your emotional delight begins to surge.
If you start feeling fearful, angry, or sad, recognize that it’s okay to feel the way you feel. Whatever that is. Do not judge yourself, instead be kind. Life is hard, and suffering unfortunately is part of being human. Embrace the struggle, don’t run away from it. Learn to pay attention to all the good happening around you.
Look back at the moments that made you smile. Happiness will begin growing from within soon after because gratefulness changes your perspective. It’s that powerful.
2. Keep your body energized throughout the day.
It’s a real struggle to be happy when you are sick. There’s a reason people say that health is the most important thing. It’s because it is.
Being physically ill changes your perspective about life. It changes everything.
Because everything sucks when you’re sick.
When that happens, the goal is to recover and get better. Or if that is not possible (depending on the illness), then to get control of what you can control.
Even the slightest of improvements can have a major affect on the quality of your life. And learn to accept and not stress out or dwell about the rest.
I have several chronic illnesses that I’ve carried through out my life and letting go of what I couldn’t control has been instrumental in sustaining my happiness and improving the overall quality of my life.
Although an illness can happen at any time to anyone, eating healthy, getting enough sleep and exercise will drastically boost your immune system and your energy level.
Most of the time if you don’t feel good and feel tired, it’s because of those 3 things above: you either ate a crappy meal, didn’t sleep well, or missed a work out or two.
Just by cutting processed foods and sugar out of your diet can give you an insane boost to how you feel and your immune system.
Drink lots of water to avoid crumping up and headaches. It’ll keep you hydrated and suppress your appetite reducing the chance of you binging on something later that night.
One of the best things I know that can substantially improve your mood and how you feel is to get about 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week.
If you feel like that time commitment is unrealistic, try getting 75 minutes of vigorous activities each week instead.
However, If you can’t find 2 hours a week for improving your health, you might have bigger problems in your life. And by the way, you don’t just find 2 hours, you make time. Everyone is busy, not just you.
You can find 15 minutes a day for an exercise if you made it a priority.
There is a thousand different ways to get your heart and lungs working. Get creative. Adjust your lifestyle to fit some exercise in. No excuses! You walk, right!? Pick up jogging. Taking elevator? Well today, you’re not. Take the stairs.
You work in the city? Pick up a bicycle and use it to commute to your job, like myself, and many others do. It’s astonishing how it makes you feel.
Yes, it’s may be hard at the beginning, if you’ve never worked out before or not doing it regularly. But once you made it a habit, you’ll never question yourself again — if wether or not you should work out today. You just do it. Not to mention one of the most amazing things about exercise – it helps you clear out your mind and keeps your sanity in check. Feel emotionally hurt? Go for a run or hit the gym, I promise, you’ll feel much better.
There are not many things in life, that can improve the quality of your “waking hours” the way exercise does. It makes you feel rejuvenated, energized and sharp. There’s a reason people get addicted to it. However, like with most things in life, balance is the key. Don’t go too crazy 🙂
When it feels good to be alive, when you are not constantly tired or drained —you will discover it is so much easier to be happy then.
Happiness is a bi-product of your lifestyle and your mindset. Taking a good care of your health can be a strong foundation for your gratitude for being alive. Don’t neglect it.
3. Get your life organized.
Stress can challenge how happy you feel on a day to day basis.
Speaking from personal experience, I struggle with a social anxiety and mood swings that sometimes make it difficult to be happy. I have to put in a lot of work to deal with my anxieties, so that they don’t control my life as much.
One of the things I noticed—even though I am not a clean freak at all (more like the opposite of that)—is having my workplace and home organized, tidy, and clean can have a huge impact on my mood. After doing a bit of research I found, that cleaning your home or office space while keeping it tidy after the work gets finished can reduce the amount of cortisol that your body generates.
Cortisol is a hormone that gets produced when stress happens, amplifying the negative feelings you experience. It’s evil. 🙂
If you don’t have the motivation to be organized, seeing a cluttered space usually creates a desire to clean it up (unless you are me) and start stressing out about it.
4. Express yourself in creative ways every day.
Taking some time to embrace your creativity each day creates happiness because it gives you a sense of purpose.
How you decide to embrace your creativity depends on your hobbies, preferences, and talents. It could be expressed thru art or something else. We are all unique, and so are the way we express ourselves.
You could take pictures of the perfect moments found each day. Some people like to write in a journal to discuss their feelings or the events that happened to them. (That would be me!) Some people like to pick up a brush and start painting.
Also, being creative helps to keep our minds organized and sharp. Not to mention that it’s a perfect escape-tool from the parts of your life that you find less enjoyable or that drain you emotionally in some way. It can bring you peace, solace, and fulfillment. I think it should be a part of your me-time that you need to block-out regularly. Speaking of which…
5. Me-time. Give yourself a day off from the usual routine.
There can be times when it feels impossible “to choose to be happy” because so many things are happening in life. Having one busy day isn’t really a problem, but it can become an issue if you turn it into a daily habit. Don’t neglect the importance of rest and your me-time.
When your work life balance is off, and you don’t even have time to take care of yourself, it is much more difficult to find the time to savor those “perfect” moments surrounding you. That’s because your focus stays on the next task on your to-do list instead.
How do you hit the reset button if you feel busy and overwhelmed each day?
That can quickly become a serious issue. You perfectly know how often burn out happens. And it always sucks.
A simple solution is to put some time in your schedule to do something for yourself, or at the very least, something different. It could be time to watch your favorite movie, have a meal at your favorite restaurant, or have a game night with your family.
Invite more of the moments you treasure into your life. This action will trigger the internal mechanisms that enable happiness to start growing.
Needless to say, it’s equally important to get rid of as many negative interactions or people as you can manage. How and who you spend your time with affects how you feel. Choose well.
6. Take care of your spiritual health
We live in strange times when people confuse spirituality with religion to weaponize their interactions with others. It’s sad.
I don’t believe in God, but I respect people who believe in whatever they want to believe. It’s not for me to judge. That’s none of my business. You do you and you do whatever makes you happy.
When I think of life… I think we are all in this together. We all do what we can to live our lives as happy and fulfilled as best as we can manage.
Life is hard.
Because unfortunately suffering is a part of life. At some point or another it will enter your world, too. We all deal with it in a best way known to us. There’s no reason to judge each other. We’re all trying to do the same thing, and we’re all gonna end up in the same place.
When I said that there weren’t that many things in life that I know that can have such a positive life-altering affect on you like exercise, I was referring to mindfulness meditation (Aka Insight of vipassanā meditation).
I think it’s the best way to reduce unnecessary suffering in your life and generally be much happier.
Important to note: It’s note the question of wether the exercise is better or meditation, or sleep, or a healthy diet… All of them play an instrumental role in your life and happiness. I’m gonna say it many times, but balance is the key.
It’s only been north of 3 years and a few months since the first time I sat down to meditate. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. Even though at the time, I thought it might be the dumbest. Ever since then, I meditate daily. Why? Because it works. Then you see the results, and it reinforces the habit further. It’s pretty amazing, actually.
I think it’s funny that sometimes you search for things in life, and you finally get what you wanted. But the way it came to your world, was not the way you anticipated at all.
I’ve struggled with mood swings, severe anxieties, and physical pain from an old injury my entire life. I’ve tried many things, and only when I added a regular meditation practice into the mix that I saw massive improvements in those areas.
Nothing has improved the quality of my life, my psyche, and happiness the way meditation did. Until this day, i’m still amazed by that. It’s the one thing I’d highly recommend anyone to incorporate in their daily habits.
Best thing of all, It’s free.
Spirituality and religions is just one part of life that you need to take care, there are many others as we discussed. Life is all about balance. You just gotta find the one that works for you.
That’s not to say religion or spirituality cannot be a recipe for success. It depends on what habits get followed when approaching this part of life.
I think either of those two can teach you something of the utmost importance : compassion, love and a perspective of thankfulness for everyone and everything that you encounter each day.
That can bring a lot of happiness and fulfillment if you let it. However, it’s one thing to say that you appreciate things or people, and it’s another if you actually feel it strongly deep inside and then you say it out loud, regularly. How do you get there? Regular practice.
Happiness Comes From Within if You Allow It
Mindset is everything. You got your perspective and it is up to you to choose how you see the world, and to embrace what comes from within each day. Most important thing to remember is that happiness is fleeting, it always fluctuates. No one is happy 100% of the time. Life hard. Bad things happen.
If you don’t feel happy today, it’s okay, don’t judge yourself. That judgement you are putting on yourself might very well be the reason why you are not happy in the first place. You are focusing on the wrong thing. There is no shortcut or quick fix. Get your life together, always keep your health a top priority.
Exercise, eat and sleep well, have a designated me-time, and find a way to express yourself. Practice mindfulness or something else to take care of your spiritual health. Don’t try to pressure yourself into “finding” happiness. That in itself is causing your unhappiness and anxiety.
This process is a little different for everyone. Some people may focus more on organization, while others look to their creativity or spirituality for inspiration. Find what works best for you, and stick to it.
As I said so many times, balance is the key to everything. Go find yours.
