Most people believe that introverts are not as confident as extroverts. Just because this group tends to be quieter and more self-reflective – as opposed to extremely social and “the life of the party” – folks have come to believe that they lack self-esteem. While this certainly may be true for some, it’s not representative of all. But all introverts can benefit from confidence-building exercises. 

Building your confidence as an introvert requires recognizing that others’ opinions or your self-categorization as a “shy” or “quiet” person does not define you. You must simply recognize your starting point, learn to foster positive, fruitful interactions with others, and strengthen your self-love. 

It’s certainly much easier to say these things than to do them. Also, everyone will have their own experiences as they progress in this journey – after all, not all introverts are the same.

Your venture into self-confidence is unique to you. However, just like many other introverts, you will benefit greatly from following the tips listed here. 

Do All Introverts Lack Confidence?

When working to improve your self-confidence, it’s important to realize that confidence and sociability (i.e., introversion or extroversion) are not interchangeable.

These two are very different marks of an individual’s personality. It understandable that so many believe this, though, since numerous studies claim that there is a positive correlation between self-esteem and extroversion. 

Remember, however, that correlation is not equivalent to causation. Someone may just happen to be confident while also being an extrovert, and the same goes for an introverted person.

Unfortunately, many of these studies have yielded such findings because introverts are often overlooked in opportunities for leadership roles and similar authoritative positions. 

The fact that two-thirds of people identify as “ambiverts” (a personality type that falls in-between extroversion and introversion) points out that this is not a static measure of someone’s ability to interact with other people.

There is a gradient, and more so, this gradient is fluid.

Many people see themselves on one end of the spectrum at one point in their lives, and later end up on the opposite end or somewhere in the middle. 

Clinical psychologist, Linda Blair, told Business Insider, “It’s nothing at all to do with confidence… Psychology is all about not what you do, but why.”

The motivation for an individual to spend time with others or to socialize heavily is not a measure of their confidence, but a reflection of how they wish to interact with others. While some introverts may be motivated by a lack of confidence, others may simply not want to engage in a way that draws attention to themselves. 

What Exactly is an Introvert?

The introvert vs. extrovert debate has been ongoing for decades. Unfortunately, many people have taken these terms to mean that individuals are stuck within one of these personalities for their lifetime, and submissive to the related character traits, namely, confidence levels.

These categories originally stem from the Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung’s Theory of Psychological Type.

In the words of Carl Jung, “what appears to be random behavior is actually the result of differences in the way people prefer to use their mental capacities.” For these two characterizations, specifically, Jung noted the following 

• Some people are far more energized by their external environment. 
• Other people are energized by their “internal world” instead.

This set the stage for the universal adherence to the seemingly black-and-white personality distinctions: extroverts and introverts.

The American Psychological Association has taken a stance on this and defines introverts as individuals who take greater comfort in their “inner self,” along with their thoughts and emotional experience.

Extroverts, on the other hand, are simply more outgoing and seek interaction with others more frequently.

These distinctions are illustrated even in the physiological mechanisms that power the human mind. For example, a study in 2007 showed that the brains of people who identify as extroverts, or fit the criteria of extroversion, react to dopamine in different ways:

• When the body released dopamine in response to social interaction, extroverts found satisfaction in the hormonal activity.
• When introverts experienced the same dopamine release, they were, instead, overstimulated.

This is yet another element that shows the traits have little to do with confidence, and more to do with physiology and fluid personality. 

The True Personality Traits of an Introvert

Notice that none of the above definitions mention anything about confidence levels. They are solely focused on how one behaves within themselves and how they interact with other human beings. 

As an introvert, you are more likely than others to display the following character traits:

• Quietness
• Inclined to solitude 
• More independent than most 
• Pensive and self-reflective 
• Emphasize planning over acting

Within this list of characteristics, there is still room for overflowing confidence. You need only to be in tune with yourself to know where your starting point is and where your goals for self-esteem lie. 

How to Be a Confident Introvert

As you’re getting ready to start on this journey of confidence-building as an introvert, you’ll need to establish a starting point first. 

Critical questions that you must ask yourself for this venture include: 

• What is your current confidence level? 
• How confident would you like to be? 
• For what purpose do you wish to improve your confidence levels?
• What kind of introvert are you? 
• How introverted are you? 

These will all influence how you proceed in increasing your confidence levels as an introverted individual. In answering the first two questions, you’ll need to do some self-reflecting and, in a sense, “measure” your current confidence levels. 

According to Linda Blair, there is one golden step that can clue you in to how confident you truly are: 

If your initial reaction to change is to wonder what others think of you as it relates to that change, that is a sign of insecurity.

For instance, imagine that you have recently been transferred to a different work location in your company’s franchise. If your response is to think your coworkers’ supposed dislike for you is the reason for the change, you may be less confident in yourself than you might think. 

To improve your self-confidence, follow these steps:

• Set your goals for strengthening your self-confidence. 
• Determine the type of introvert you are. 
• Take action by committing to giving yourself credit for each confidence-building achievement and asking for help.
• Seek chances to conquer your fears.
• Stop caring what others think. 
• Practice new styles of communication. 
• Share yourself with loved ones. 
• Learn to trust yourself.

Set Goals for Improving Your Confidence

Any step toward self-improvement requires a conscious set of goals. These objectives will help you to keep a clear head and remind you of what exactly you’re working toward over the next several weeks, months, or even years. (It’s important to remind yourself that this is not a change that will happen overnight. Allow enough time to get to know yourself as you are now and to grow into who you want to be.)

Besides, the process of goal-setting is a step in building confidence in and of itself.

To assign future milestones for yourself shows a level of trust in yourself that one day, these tasks will be achieved. Goals function as a primary driver of self-motivation. They can provide you with the boost in morale you need to get out of any ruts of low self-esteem.

As you set your goals for improving your self-confidence, keep the following acronyms in mind:

• A-B-C: Remember to make your self-confidence building milestones

• • Achievable
  • Believable 
  • Committed

Essentially, this means that you should not set goals that you are unlikely to achieve. For example, do you wish to build your confidence in the workplace? You should start small by becoming more comfortable with speaking up at staff meetings or chiming in during team projects.

However, it’s probably not a good idea to try to become the company CEO within the next year. Such goals are far too ambitious and only set you up for failure. 

Practice moderation by taking small steps to grow into a more confident version of yourself.

• Ensure that your goals are S-M-A-R-T:
  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable (or achievable)
  • Realistic
  • Time-bound

Building off the above acronym, you want to ensure that you give yourself a genuine fighting chance to become a more confident individual. Be specific as you’re working toward this aspect of self-development.

Are you looking to improve the way you interact in social spheres, rekindle a relationship, or prepare for a future academic presentation?

Whatever your reason for confidence building, make sure that these factors are clarified before you start on this journey. Doing so will give you the best shot at becoming a better version of yourself.

Determine the Type of Introvert You Are

Another aspect of defining your starting point will be identifying the type of introvert that you are. Now, with this step, it’s important to remind yourself that you don’t have to fall into just one category.

Remember that introversion and extroversion are things that fall on a spectrum. They are not static, and in no way are they definitive traits that you’ll be stuck with for the rest of your life. 

Still, clarifying where you fall on this scale will provide you with more information for your confidence-building starting point. It will also inform you of the contexts in which you might lack confidence. 

The primary types of introverts are as follows:

• Social introverts: You are specifically overwhelmed in social settings and may prefer one-on-one interactions more than large gatherings.
• Anxious introverts: This may overlap with the above type, as it implies that the individual feels uncomfortable around others. This type of introvert wishes to be alone more often than not.
• Thinking introverts: You may spend a great deal of time in self-reflection, parsing through your thoughts. 
• Self-control introverts: As mentioned above, you might emphasize planning over acting. You may be inclined to excessively deliberate your actions before executing them. 

As you can see, these do not necessarily have much to do with your confidence levels. The anxious and social introverts may have trouble maintaining their self-esteem in crowds, no matter the occasion (e.g., work retreat, parties, etc.). A self-control introvert, however, may wish to grow their confidence in their decision-making capabilities.

You might feel that you take too long to make decisions and, therefore, wish to improve the efficiency of your decision-making process. Where you fall on the spectrum of introversion-to-extraversion and on the scale of introversion in and of itself will dictate the direction of your self-confidence building journey and the specific milestones you assign for yourself. 

Take Action Toward Greater Self-Confidence

Now that you have defined your starting point, you’re ready to take action on your confidence development plan.

If you wish, you can write down your goals in a planner to make it easier to remind yourself of what you’re working toward and when you want to reach certain milestones. This is the best option for those looking to build confidence for a work interview or similar professional endeavors. 

If the occasion for which you need more confidence is on a set date, give yourself a buffer of a few weeks, or even months, to test out your brand-new confidence levels before facing the pressure of the main event.

As you progress in your self-development, remember to give yourself credit for each achievement you make. Just as setting goals for yourself helps build confidence, rewarding yourself for reaching those goals does the same. This is very important! Don’t belittle the work you’re doing on your character or diminish any feelings of pride you experience in this journey.

Additionally, if you need any help in this phase of your confidence-building journey – ask for it! If your self-development requires the assistance of a therapist, then seek one out. It is unlikely that you’ll be able to make huge progress in these steps alone, so please do not pressure yourself to do so. When you’ve ironed out these details, start building your confidence with specific actions.

Seek Opportunities to Conquer Your Fears

Something that holds many people back from becoming the greatest version of themselves – whether they are an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert – is fear. Ask yourself, “What are you afraid of?” Depending on your answer (and there may be many!), you will need to approach your progression in a specific way. Most often, people are afraid of failing at something. What is this “something” to you?

You may be working toward a promotion in your company. Are you afraid of having your request for a higher-paying position rejected? Are you afraid of being demoted? Remember that failure, even if it were to happen, is not a reflection of your value and capabilities. In addition, failure is not the thing that’s holding you back.

As you have likely heard a million times, “Failure makes you stronger.” It’s true! Failure provides an opportunity for you to step back and evaluate what went wrong on your first try. It’s an opportunity to examine your strengths and the weaknesses that must be shaved away. The fear of such failure, however, is a substantial barrier in your self-development. 

If you do not allow yourself opportunities to fail out of irrational fear, then you will never get the chance to reflect on the greatness of yourself and identify areas for improvement. So, even if you are trembling in your shoes, take that chance. Speak to your boss. Climb that mountain. Write that book. Do what makes you afraid, so that, one day, you are braver – and more confident – than you could ever imagine.

Stop Caring What Others Think

Now, admittedly, this is a difficult objective to achieve. After all, it is natural to care what people think about you, especially those you consider to be your loved ones. And it is not necessarily bad to give credence to others’ perspectives on who you are and how you behave. (In fact, it’s important to do so if your behavior is, in some way, hurting another individual.)

However, you should not allow others’ perspectives to be so important that they overshadow what you know to be true. Suppose you know, without a doubt, that you can sing. You might only sing in the shower, but you’ve attended vocal training sessions. Hey, you might even sing in your school acapella group. Yet, you’ve never performed on stage.

You have proven time and time again that you can sing and might have even demonstrated your talents to others at this point. But after you sing for an audience, some may believe that your voice wasn’t their cup of tea. And that’s okay! Not everyone’s opinion will fall in line with what you know to be true of yourself. How could they? You are the only one living within yourself, so you are the only person with the ability to know what is and isn’t true about you. 

Do not give people the power to make you doubt or question yourself with their inaccurate opinions. Still, I think it is wise to welcome others’ praise and critiques sometimes, as long as it ultimately serves to make you a better person. 

If you are ever wondering whether you should allow someone’s opinion to matter to you, ask yourself the following questions:

• Does this person care about my self-improvement? 
• Is this critique a true or credible reflection of who I am as I know myself?
• Does this person’s opinion feel genuine, or is it coming from a negative or malicious place?
• If I give credence to this opinion, will it serve to hurt or strengthen my character?
• Does this person know enough about me to provide credible feedback regarding my behavior?
• Is this critique important to my relationship with this individual, or do I only wish to gain this person’s fleeting favor?

Practice a New Form of Communication

It’s likely that one of your biggest weaknesses, as it relates to confidence, is communication. Many people who struggle with their self-esteem find it tough to communicate how they’re feeling, whether for work purposes, in the context of a relationship, or in many other scenarios. 

Because so many introverts tend to spend time within their minds, they may find it tough to verbalize their thoughts and emotions. Understanding how you’re doing is easy when you have to interpret the circumstances on your own. Enlightening someone else on how you may be feeling or what you may be experiencing at any given time is another matter entirely. 

However, learning to do so will improve your confidence within yourself. Additionally, it is a practice that will come full circle. When others can better understand your perspective, they will be able to adapt their behaviors and communication styles to your needs.

This can make you more effective and, thus, improve your confidence in your professional roles, personal relationships, and more.

To improve your communication, follow the guidelines below:

1. Choose a quiet, neutral place to meet for discussions. Many introverts tend to be very soft-spoken, as a byproduct of their reserved nature. If you need to speak with someone, give yourself a chance to be heard clearly and fairly. Choose a spot that allows you to speak at your normal volume, so you feel comfortable communicating with the individual.
2. Plan your discussion. This is perfect for self-control, or “restrained” introverts as they are also called. Since some introverts tend to get lost in thought, it’s best to write down your key points before going into your talk. This way, you can make sure you address everything you had in mind. 
3. Give yourself breaks for long discussions. Introverts often need time to rejuvenate themselves in private. This may just be a simple walk outside, a quiet moment of listening to music or writing in your journal, or a moment of general self-reflection. Don’t force yourself to interact for longer than you’re comfortable with. This will exhaust you and reduce your communication effectiveness, which may weaken your confidence in these interactions.

Share Yourself with Your Loved Ones

Have you ever been asked what you do for fun? If you find yourself hesitating to answer such a question, Charlie Houpert, author of “Charisma on Command,” says that that just might be a sign of insecurity. “If you find yourself… hiding something, evaluate that. That’s an indication to either stop doing that thing or, more likely, accept that part of yourself and own it.”

Have you ever avoided such a question because you were afraid that your introverted hobbies were “too boring” or “too weird” for other people to understand? Don’t worry, it’s normal! Even if you don’t hesitate to answer, many introverts precede their responses to these types of questions with statements like “Oh, I’m boring,” or “I don’t do anything.” 

You may not feel like it at the time, but this is belittling to yourself. Just because you enjoy something that another person may not does not inherently make you boring or less interesting than the next person. It simply means that you’re different. Your hesitation might be pointing to something else. You may be simply unwilling to share these parts of yourself with others. 

This is a sign that you lack confidence. To build confidence in this aspect of your character, start boldly sharing your interests with the people in your life. Who knows, you might introduce them to something new! More importantly, you’ll learn to own up to who you are and forego the habit of hiding yourself from other people. This is crucial to becoming confident in even the quirkiest parts of yourself.

Learn to Trust Yourself

Working on these things is all well-and-good, but if you are doing them only for the benefit of others and to ease the way people can interact with you, you might not be working toward the appropriate goals. Building your self-confidence is for you more than anyone else. 

Psychologists agree that higher self-esteem works to:

• Combat the negative symptoms of mental health disorders
• Provide individuals with healthy coping mechanisms
• Help people to overcome social challenges
• Improves people’s overall mental wellbeing 

Further, people with higher levels of self-confidence experience higher levels of happiness and fulfillment in their lives. Even your physical welfare is much better off with stronger self-confidence. Those who have attained high levels of confidence within themselves have been shown to have higher survival rates. 

As you work toward becoming a more self-confident individual, please be reminded that your love for yourself matters more than anyone else’s. Only when you have become comfortable and secure within yourself can you work to receive the respect and admiration of others that naturally come along with higher confidence levels.

In Conclusion

Your confidence level is not defined by whether you are an introverted or extroverted person. These terms only represent how individuals react to certain psychological pressures and situations. Still, as an introvert, you may legitimately be struggling with your confidence levels. 

Give yourself as much time as you need to follow this guide, and remember that your love for (and confidence in) yourself is the most important goal in this journey.