Thoughts on Happiness and Facing Hardship

I got super lucky, I was able to find happiness early. The only thing is, I am not so sure that you actually find happiness, it’s more like you’ve got to create it.

Good news is, everyone is capable of that. 

Let me tell you a story that hopefully will give you a new perspective on things.

I found out that I have severe allergies when I was a little kid. Ever since then, it’s been the bane of my existence. It made my life totally miserable. That’s one.

When I was in elementary school, I found out that I see the world differently from anybody else.

Quite literally. I realized that I am colorblind. That hurt my self-esteem for years.

I was bullied in my school and college years.

I used to believe there were about 7 colors in the world. Well, apparently I was wrong .🙂

And even those 7 colors that I knew existed, I’d get them wrong all the time.

It took me only 5 years to find out the white napkins we used at one place, we really yellow.

Imagine my surprise. I thought they were pranking me. But by that point, I’d already adapted to being colorblind, but that still blew my mind. 

Then, a doctor told me that I have IBS, and that’s gonna be there with me for life, along with allergies. Ah, great. Wait for it. 

Then in my 20s, my partner got cancer – a Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  Which was one of the most devastating and soul-crushing experiences I’ve ever had. To say that it was difficult is to say nothing at all. It gave me a different perspective on suffering. When you are ill, your loved one suffer along with you whether you want that or not. 

So if you don’t care about your health problems, they do. Appreciate that. That’s a big deal. If for some reasons you don’t wanna get better for yourself, do it for them.

Gratitude reduces pain and suffering. A good place to start.

I learned the important role that gratitude plays in our lives and the importance of practicing it every single day. It will inevitably lead to making your happier.

I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to incorporate gratitude into your daily life. Gotta learn to appreciate both good and bad.

The good…well, obviously, be grateful that it happened to YOU.

The bad…there are always lessons to be learned and isn’t that what life all about? I think so.

Even when you feel down, or your life is going down the hill, remember it’s temporary. And remember, it could always get worse. Drastically worse.

There is no limit how bad can it get, so appreciate that it’s not THAT bad. The difference is real.

Do it daily. And don’t say it’s hard. Because it is not. Let me ask you, do you want to be happy ONLY every other Tuesday?  I thought so. You wanna sustain happiness.

I schedule time every single day just for doing that. It takes me about 10 minutes, mostly in the morning, when I’m by myself and I go over things that I already have in my life for which I am grateful for.

It has a profound effect on how my day goes.

You might wanna give it a shot for a week, to see for yourself, maybe it does something for you too. It’s only 10 minutes—it’s not that long. 

You might find it dumb. Do what works for you. But I believe it’s an important thing to do regularly.

Make it a part of your routine. Routine is important. 

I prioritize that time just as much, if not more, as I prioritize my work time. 

And it always starts with appreciation for the things and people that you have in your life.

For example, when someone opens the door for me,  I say: ”Thank you. It means a lot to me”. And It does. Such little things make my day and they matter to me. A lot.

You’ve got to find a way to enjoy what you can. The process matters.

Slow down, and cherish what you have. And slowly cultivate more appreciation towards more things.

If you don’t really know where to begin?

Always start with your mindset and how you’re looking at things.

First off, you can start, by acknowledging that life is difficult and full of suffering.

That’s right, it is. It’s important to recognize things for what they are, and not what you wish they were.

Why do you need to know the horrors of reality?— you might ask.

Because, this way, you can do something about them.

Ignoring the problems, DO NOT make them disappear. Turning a blind eye, is a bad idea.

It makes it a whole lot worse. Because, they snowball out of proportion. If it’s hard already, just imagine how hard it would get if you left things alone. It’s no joke. Take it seriously.

However, remember.

Difficult times will make you grow.

It will make you wiser and stronger. Don’t try to avoid it, face it. Embrace the struggle. It will build your character.

Sometimes, I do feel depressed, overwhelmed, or down. No one is happy all the time, unless you are delusional.

There are so many problems that come up every day that you have to deal with. 

Mindset is everything. I expect problems to happen. I don’t avoid them. It’s impossible. You do your best with what you have. And deliberately teach yourself not to worry about things you do not have control over. Let them go. It’s a skill you practice and get better at.

There is always a way to enjoy the little things, no matter how hard it gets. Just gotta pay close attention. I would even argue it could be even more important than ever to find beauty in the little things when things get tough.

Set up better goals and go after it. Prioritize the most frustrating thing you have at the moment, and go all in on resolving that. For instance, if happiness is your top priority, find out what is the one things that contributes the most to your unhappiness. Target that. Work hard.

Once it’s resolved, go all in on the next thing that’s bothering you. And then the next. And the next. Do it every day. Don’t leave things unresolved and unaddressed.