A breakup is among the most soul-shattering experiences in life.

Depression will hit you so hard that your priorities are likely to change. You might not even have any left at that point.

It’s hard. It’s REALLY hard.

One of the first things that you need to get out of the way is paperwork.

You might want to take a few days from work to take care of EVERYTHING that REQUIRES the two of you to be in the SAME room at the same time, or to make ANY contact with one another.

You can see why it’s important to do in as little time as possible because the first step in healing a heartbreak is to have no contact with one another in any shape or form.

So that you can focus all your attention on one thing only – getting better.

That’s one hell of a road ahead, but not to worry, when all this is done and over, you’ll come out stronger than ever.

Meanwhile, brace yourself. You gotta set your feelings aside and have a mature discussion without lashing out on one another.

Make a list of the things that need to be taken care of together. And don’t be over-inclusive. Everything that you can do on your own, don’t put on that list. Only the things that require the two of you together.

Do not try to “remember everything”, that’s nearly impossible in the state that you are gonna be in.

Don’t Postpone Anything

Timing is essential. You need to start grieving, and for that, you need to cut off any possible contact with one another.

Even a slight reminder of each other existence and I mean the slightest will get you instantly all-ramped up and send you into the torturous rabbit hole of your mind and will keep you there for quite some time.

To start dealing with a breakup, you need to leave each other in the past and start a very much needed grieving process and eventually healing back and moving on.

Make no mistake, a breakup will hit you like a train.

You won’t be able to think clearly once you get yourself out of denial and accept the fact that you are not together anymore.

The key here is to do everything important as soon as possible.

First of all,

Talk About Money Situation

If you shared it together, you want to talk about that. Checking, savings, and joint accounts…now, how are you gonna re-distribute money? And then DO IT.

Don’t just talk about it, actually go to the bank, or use online banking, and get this over with.

• Close your joint accounts if you shared any.
• If you had each other as authorized users of your credit cards, you wanna take care of that, too.

Most of these things you can do either online, by phone call, or by going to the bank.

Next,

Figure out Where You’re Gonna Live

Do you own a house/apartment? Try to come to an agreement who is moving out and who gets to keep the place. Are you now, selling it so you can split the money?

It’s best if you can handle it between the two of you before you go to your lawyers and do it the harsh way. However, sometimes, it’s just plain necessary.

If you don’t own the place, and instead, you had a lease signed on both of you, decide if one of you wants to keep it. Then go to the management office or your landlord and change the lease.

I know there are many people out there who want to break up but don’t do it because the lease on the place hasn’t ended yet. So they feel trapped.

If you don’t plan on staying in the place, make an AD to find someone who will buy your lease.

With EVER-Increasing prices for apartments and houses, it should be relatively easy to find people who will find your place more than attractive to them.

For instance, the lease I signed 5 years ago is about $700 cheaper than the new lease for the same apartment.

That’s per month.

So if someone gets my lease, they instantly save $700 per month, times 12, that’s $8,400 per year.

How about that, huh. That is a lot of money to save. That’s very common, prices rarely go down.

The point is, it’s not that hard to find people who will want to buy your LEASE.

If you are the one to move out, your friend’s couch and your parents’ house can be your emergency option of course, but you shouldn’t rely on that, and instead put all your energy into finding your own place.

And don’t be too picky about it either.

Make It Your First Priority

ANYTHING that will get you out of the house where the source of your agonizing pain is. Just get something “OKAY ” for a few months until you manage to find something better.

Go to nakedappartments.com, craigslist, Airbnb, or pick up a copy of your local newspaper, and check out rooms for a few months.

Finding a place to live on your own, can be extremely difficult, frustrating and most likely to hit your pocket.

But you desperately need that.

You can’t postpone that for long.

As much as you want to MOVE ON with your life, you won’t UNLESS you MOVE OUT of the place where she/he is living, first.

Figure out the money and the apartment questions asap.

If you are in a dire situation, don’t be shy to ask around: ask your friends, family, to crush on their couch, until you find a permanent place to stay.

Don’t be a douche though by taking advantage of their hospitality. Just don’t be “that guy.”

Put all your effort to find YOUR place.

Once you resolved the apartment question, move on to the next.

Take Care of the Debt Situation

“Together through the good and the bad” remember? Take your half with you 🙂

If you don’t have enough money to cover it, negotiate how you are gonna be paying it off. Maybe through transferring money to one another to cover your part, like my honey and I did when we broke up.

MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: WE STILL TRUSTED Each Other When We Broke Up

Your situation might be totally different. If you had an ugly one, one of you might crave to have some sort of revenge… trusting each other words, in this case, might not be such a good idea.

Consider getting a lawyer to help you out with that.

That being said, If you trust each other, I suggest using Venmo by PayPal.

I am not sponsored by them in any way, I just enjoy using it.

It allows you to transfer money to one another with just a few clicks. It’s very convenient.

It’s Free if you transfer using debit cards and bank accounts. And there is a 3% FEE by using credit cards.

That’s the app my honey and I used to transfer money to one another.

Once you are done with the Debt situation, move on to bills.

Who keeps the apartment?

Go one by one and change every account information with every bill company onto that person.

GET All THE PASSWORDS.

Log in, and change them to your new ones.

You also want to change ALL of the passwords you possibly have, including those for social media accounts, email, online banking, etc.

All of them.

Don’t leave anything shared.

If you used Netflix for both of you, yes, now you will want to get you your own.

Anything that will slightly remind you of each other, will set your recovery back and introduce more suffering to what already could feel unbearable.

Just to list a few of those bills to consider:

• Electric bill.
• TV+Internet+landline phone.
• Cell phone, if you had a family plan change it.
• Gas/hot & cold water.
• Gym, if you had a family membership.
• Amazon – Prime Membership.
• Netflix/HBO Go
• PornHub :Decade subscription.
• Express VPN/NordVPN.
• Chewy.com – pet food.

The point is, you don’t wanna miss out on a payment and have your credit history ruined because of a stupid mistake.

Setting up Auto-payments may help a lot.

Set up once, and never worry about it again.

Another thing is you might wanna stop by your hospital and change a few things:

Emergency Contact Information and Your Health Care Proxy

Usually, anybody at the front desk will help you out with that. Just tell them you need to update some information on file and ask for a Health Care Proxy paper too.

The proxy paper designates the person you choose to make any medical decisions for you in case if for any reasons you are not capable/unconscious etc.

You want that person to have your best interest at heart.

If you had an ugly breakup, you might wanna update that paper JUUUUUUST in case 🙂

You might wanna make changes to your last will and testament, and life insurance too. Consult your lawyer about that.

Taking care of all your paperwork, if it wasn’t an official divorce, should take you a couple days at most. It’s pretty quick, and you can get it out of the way rather fast.

So now you can focus all your energy on healing.

I wish you a speedy recovery!