Humans are social beings and so we thrive on connection with our fellow people. Without that connection, the world can be a lonely place. Nobody likes feeling like they’re alone. It can cause mental health issues that may end up spiraling out of control. Having no friends is not fun and can be detrimental in ways that cause anxiety or depression. Without human connection, a person can feel unloved, and one of the side effects of loneliness is the feeling that it’s somehow our fault.
It’s not your fault if you have no friends. We all experience periods in our lives where people come and go. Sometimes people go, leaving us to find new friends. It happens because everyone experiences change; it is inevitable. The good news is there are many ways in which a person can set out to find new friends effectively, bringing new, exciting relationships into one’s life.
Feeling like we are the ones to blame if we’re in state of life with no friends can be truly excruciating. One of the difficult things about it is that you can find yourself trapped in inescapable dilemma. I need to go out and find some friends, but I have no friends, so I’m depressed, which makes me not want to. That cuts too close to the bone. I’m a hard-core introvert and going out and making new friends sounds similar to jumping off the cliff. As for many people making new friends may come natural, but I had to invest a lot of time in learning “how to”.
It’s tough to find new friends. But the elation that comes with facing the fear of connecting with new friends and going out to do it is a huge confidence builder.
What to do if you have no friends
Finding new friends can seem like a daunting task. It can look like a tough challenge, and it’s not always easy to execute. But the key is similar interests, a way to connect where you may haven’t without a mutual connection. Something that you enjoy doing is an excellent way to meet like-minded people, which will already give you a way to mutually connect.
Think about it; everyone has things they love doing, seeing, watching. Places to travel to conventions, sports. There are so many ways in which we, as humans, have a mutual connection that helps us become closer as people, even if we’re strangers before we end up in the same place. Here, the possibilities are endless.
But what if you don’t have any hobbies or mutual interests or your co-workers all suck? I would say this is an excellent opportunity to gain a new interest or learn a new skill.
Pick something you’ve always wanted to do or to learn.
That is win, win. You get to learn about and enjoy something new while giving yourself a chance make some new friends. And if it happens to be an activity involving doing (as opposed to observing), then that’s the perfect opportunity to start connecting with other people by figuring out the activity together.
And while we’re on the subject of co-workers, some people are in amazing career situations with awesome people. Co-workers go out to spend time with each other constantly. If you have awesome co-workers, have no fear of confidently asking if they want to go out and have fun.
However, make sure to have a game plan that will help build that confidence. And if they say no, who cares? There are so many people out there. Not to mention that one person’s reaction need not hinder your awesomely productive life.
But I understand that it sounds much easier than it actually is.
Being a crazy introvert myself, I know how hard it is when most of the things, skills, and passions that interest me are usually solo activities and do not involve other people. They are mostly things that introverts obsess about. But it’s not exactly true anymore, is it? We live in 2020, and the technology (if used properly) allows us to connect like never before, if you are willing to express your genuine self to the world.
There massive communities online of fellow introverts that enjoy precisely what you enjoy and to the same extent. And the best part is, they are looking for new friends too. Go to places where “your” people hang out at. Trust me, there is a community of people for every single interest and hobby out there. Google it. And if you can’t find it, create one.
Best way to connect with people
Be genuine. Express yourself in a way that is authentic and real. Don’t try to hide your weirdness, your flaws, your insecurities, your quirks. More so, don’t try to fit in or to conform to society thinking that people would like you better. Ironically, the latter is the exact reason preventing you from making real connections. Remember, no one likes fake. Unless it’s boobs, of course 🙂
Authenticity takes courage, and is very attractive.
Not to mention, those flaws and insecurities that you trying to hide are gonna be the EXACT things that make you special, and make people fall in love with you.
Authenticity is what builds real lifetime connection.
Talk to people about something you love and value, but more importantly, why do you love it, or why do you value it.
That alone will make you interesting and cool to hang out with. Before you know, you’ll find a lot of people who go out of their way to hang out with you.
Strong shared interests is one of easiest way to make friends.
What have you always wanted to try in your life? Or, what have you always wanted to learn? It’s a good time to get obsessed about it. When you go nuts about something, other people, who are just as crazy about it as you are, can easily sense your energy and would be eager to connect with you.
Don’t forget to be selective who you surround yourself with.
What if you finally begin to act genuinely but people in your circle do not accept the real you? Cut them off. Leave that social circle for good. If it’s your family (which by the way often is), reduce the time you spend with them to a minimum.
You might think that’s crazy, but I’d argue that crazy would be NOT doing that.
Surrounding yourself with people who do not accept you for you, or who don’t like you…There is literally no quicker way to have major self-esteem issues. What’s the point of being around toxic people and people for whom no matter what you do and how you improve you are never enough, and who don’t support you for real you.
Let them all go, or you will never be happy.
Places to Meet People and Building Confidence
Concerts
We mentioned concerts earlier in the article, and they are going to be some of the best places to meet people. You are surrounded by a plethora of people who love the same music. And if it’s a popular artist, you are going to be around tons of people who love that artist, too. This is one of the easiest to meet and connect with new people.
Sports Games
Are you a sports fan? Just like concerts, you’re going to get an awesome experience watching a team you love while being surrounded by other like-minded fans. Because there is one goal for the team when you’re at the game, to get the W. And everyone there wants the same thing. Super easy to connect with people.
Volunteer
This one is the best. My favorite and for so many reasons.
If you struggle meeting new people and making friends, go volunteer for something your feel strongly about. There are so many causes out there in the world that do their best to help people, animals, places, establishments, the list goes on! By giving a little bit of your time for the sake of doing some good is already an amazing accomplishment.
Plus, you’ll get to meet other awesome people who are doing the same thing for the cause. Volunteering is amazing, and time is valuable. Meeting other people who are willing to share theirs is an easy way to connect.
Helping others brings a lot of fulfillment, humility, and makes my life a better and happier place. Not to mention how many times it helped me to fight back depression. How many times I wanted to give up, and focusing on helping others in need has always been the key to me getting better. It’s helped me more times than I could count.
The Gym
If you don’t already work out, there is never a bad time to do something fitness related. As you obviously know the health benefits are just insane. Also, you’ll get an opportunity to meet other people who appreciate fitness and cares about a healthy living. And if you’re new, they can teach you a thing or two if they look like they know what they’re doing. Exercise doesn’t have to be extreme. In fact, don’t just limit yourself to weight lifting and cardio. Nowadays Gyms offer so many awesome group classes: yoga, meditation, spinning, swimming, dancing, CrossFit, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, etc. Group fitness allows for making new friends that much easier.
Join a Team
And while we’re on the topic of sports and fitness, have you ever thought of joining a sports team for fun? Whether you’re an athlete or not, sports teams are a lot of fun. It’s like the camaraderie is already built in to the situation! If you love a certain sport, there are tons of beginner-friendly teams out there looking for new teammates. Do a little research, and you’re certain to find something perfect to suit what you’re looking for.
Are you a Dog Owner?
If you are, this little segment is for you. And if you’re thinking of getting one, awesome! If you have a dog, meet other dog lovers at the dog park! It’s such a great way to meet new people who love dogs just like you do. And I’ve typically found that people who hang out at the dog park with their pooches are typically super friendly people. It’s more than easy to connect with some other dog owners at a place that welcomes lots of dogs to play and make some new friends, too!
Bars
I know it may sound cliché, but bars have always been a great place to meet people. I think Themed bars are even better because there will be a mutual interest to connect on. Alcohol can make it easier to talk to new people, who are we kidding? Just don’t overdo it. And that can be a way to connect with people, too! Break the ice with some shots.
Personally, I prefer coffee shops over bars. Am I the only Russian that loves coffee and not alcohol? Hmm…
Build Your Confidence
Building confidence is all about the execution. Yes, you are going to feel some fear. But that’s why confidence-building is so powerful. Envision how you’ll feel after you get to say you went for it? And increasing that confidence is all about repetition.
The more you do something, the more comfortable you will become, therefore making you an unstoppable force. Approaching strangers is daunting, but you can do it! I believe in you!
Conclusion
Making new friends seems like a massive undertaking if you happen to be in a place in life where friends are lacking. It’s okay! It is not your fault. Hopefully, our article has shown you that things just tend to change over time; people come and go.
That is just the way life is, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because now you have some great ideas to put yourself out there, the real you, and hopefully we’ve at least piqued your interest a little. We want you to build up the confidence so you can get out there and find those new, awesome friends that are waiting for you.
