Gratitude and appreciation are important emotions for people who have decided to live a full and happy life. They both stem from a feeling of thankfulness and a recognition of the value we have received and the good things (and people) around us.
But are gratitude and appreciation the same?
Not in all cases, even though they are often used as synonyms. Gratitude is a wholesome feeling of thankfulness that flourishes inside us when we recognize how much we’ve been blessed. When we nourish and cherish that feeling, we are said to be grateful. But appreciation is more external than gratitude. It is a direct acknowledgement of the value and good things around us. It is mostly expressive in nature and this is why it is direct.
Considering this, you can pretty much say gratitude is feeling (or being) thankful, while appreciation is showing thanks for the good in your life.
Even though you’ve probably come across several articles that insist you need to move beyond one emotion and focus on the other, I argue that it’s so much better instead to enjoy the positive effects of both in your life. I know I may sound like a broken record…but, come on! They are both FREE. Free! And they affect the quality of your life and happiness directly and it is kinda silly to dismiss one of the other.
As far as I’m concerned, there are not many things in life that are more important than happiness. So, you had better use every single available tool in your arsenal. I don’t need to tell you, because sometimes, you know that even that effort is not enough. Do your best! And then build upon that. And keep on improving. That’s life 🙂
And contrary to many people’ views, gratitude and appreciation are not contradictory emotions. Rather, they are complementary and those who are able to harness the power of both emotions can live a live fuller and better than with just one.
I’ll explain why, but first, let’s look a bit deeper into these two emotions.
Gratitude is inward facing
Wikipedia defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful. It is a recognition of what you have enjoyed in your life and a deep-seated thankfulness for it all, both what you accomplished with little help and all you received for free.
It is a result of reflection on your life and the good that exists in it and choosing to recognize that good and celebrate it within yourself. This is why gratitude is an internal emotion. It exists within you and fills you up like that magical light that flows out of the belly of a fire fly.
This is the very reason how I’ve been able to stay incredibly happy despite all of the odds and circumstances. It’s the power of mindset.
Gratitude is self-contained and does not exactly rely on your external environment. A person can be grateful for things they did not exactly receive from someone. The air you breathe, the strength of your body, the precision of your mind, the punch that you didn’t receive but deserved. All these things are a part of you. They are not the same as receiving assistance at the bus park, or at the mall, or getting help to launch your career. But you can be grateful for them.
Even when things don’t seem to be going especially well and you struggle, gratitude can continue to flow out of you. And with that radiation of gratitude coming out of you, it is possible to reduce the power of the negative circumstances over you.
I literally do that all the time. Every single day. No exception. Any person with severe anxiety, in my case — social, knows exactly what I am talking about.
If you are not deliberately framing your thinking or setting up your mindset this way, how can you possibly be happy despite your circumstances? You can’t. You’ll always be a victim of your circumstance. Bad idea for your happiness. Really bad. You’ll be miserable and always stressed out of your mind.
Every day, when anxiety hits me like a truck or when I’m having a really “dark” day, I deliberately push my attention to the most terrible things that haven’t happened yet, but could have.
If you are in a such dark situation and think to yourself things just can’t go any worse. Oh, boy are you wrong on this one. Things can always get worse than they are.
And just because you might be emotionally dismissive, and have “don’t care anymore” mentality, it doesn’t change the fact that it could and most certainly will, if you don’t change things around.
And I’m truly grateful for that. I’m not faking the feeling, or trying to convince myself to believe that, I just genuinely do. I had difficulty breathing—which sucks— but thankful, I haven’t died, right? Nice.
Another example that I’m actually using every single day has to do with my severe allergies. One of the worst, and most painful symptom would be “messed up” eyes. The feeling is close to if someone would poke a needle in your eyes, repeatedly through out the day.
The way to counter it is rather easy. You find the good in it. You find something to be grateful for.
Don’t fake it, because it won’t work.
You can convince your mom, your spouse, or your friends. You often do. You can’t BS yourself! Deep down you always know. Why is it important? Because “the deep down” is what is responsible for how happy and fulfilled you are. Can’t fool that.
Instead, find a real reason to be grateful for. Multiple reasons. Do that every day.
I can lose my vision permanently— I haven’t. I’m so lucky! Let’s be grateful for that. My eyes could be bleeding, they are not. Not to mention that fact that my allergies are deadly, but I’m still alive and kicking.
Why not be grateful, and truly focus on that?
There are so many instances every single day, thousands, in fact.
Where you make a decision how to respond to the circumstances you were given by the outside world. Things that are out of your direct control.
And way too many people often decide to play a victim or hate on something or someone, instead of coming from a place of humility, gratitude and appreciation.
It’s an antidote to suffering, and not many people use it.
It’s so simple!
I asked this question once before – are you a thermometer or a thermostat?
While a thermometer can only respond to its environment giving you the reading, a thermostat can read and actively regulate what is around it. Gratitude is the quality of being a thermostat.
But it doesn’t show the ones you love how you feel. It doesn’t tell the kind woman at the mall “thank you” for assisting you with your groceries. It doesn’t express your thankfulness for what you have. No, all of that is where appreciation comes in.
Appreciation is an expression of gratitude
Appreciation goes beyond gratitude. It is more than feeling or being thankful. It is the physical expression of the gratitude you feel in your heart.
There’s a tendency to get a bit confused when talking about appreciation, and this is mostly because the word can be used in many ways.
Appreciation can mean the enjoyment of something good around you or of someone. You can appreciate art, good food, a relaxing bath. Appreciation can also mean recognition or acknowledgement that something is good or valuable to you.
In the context of thankfulness, I think appreciation is something a little bit more. It is a mix of two halves that can often include and are complementary to gratitude. Appreciation is both the quality of recognizing good and directly expressing thanks for it.
It’s the difference between thinking “Wow! Konstantin did something great for me” and actually walking up to him and saying “Thank you for what you did”, or telling others “Konstantin is a nice guy, here’s what he did for me…”
Appreciation is an active acknowledgement of the good around you and it can often be a great emotion to share with your friends and loved ones. When you’re appreciative, you reflect your recognition of the value that is in your life and actively endorse it.
And the best thing? When you’re appreciative, it’s almost like you’re sending out beams of sunshine to everyone and everything around you and when those rays hit, they get reflected right back to you.
A balanced and happy person is both grateful and appreciative
And that’s the simple truth of it. When you are both grateful and appreciative, you can fully enjoy the benefits of two powerful emotions that are the hallmarks of a happy life.
I always give the whole credit for me being able to sustain happiness through out my life to those two.
Instead of being competing emotions as some say, gratitude and appreciation combine to make you whole.
They are like two halves of a perfect whole. They’re yin and yang, eternally revolving around each other and letting you add value to those you love and respect by the simple power of a “thank you”.
They are reflections of the peace, contentment, and happiness inside you and they are very powerful emotions to have.
I think it’s because just as they fill you with light and love for those around you, they also fill those around you and remind them that what they do has value and is important to someone.
If you wonder which of these two important emotions you have to pick, I believe the simple answer is both. You don’t need to discriminate between gratitude and appreciation at all. Instead, you should use both so you can enjoy a happy and balanced life.
I see quite often that gratitude is neglected.
There is like this thinking that it is mostly backward looking and should be ignored for appreciation instead.
But apart from the fact that it’s not always the case that gratitude looks back, it’s still pretty important to spare time to be thankful for all that have received.
And if your gratitude mostly consists of looking back, you can still be appreciative of the present and those that are currently around you. In fact, I think you must, if being happy and content is at all important to you.
To sum up
So, in answer to the question whether gratitude and appreciation are the same, we can confidently say No, they’re not. Gratitude is the state of being thankful while appreciation is the expression of thankfulness.
Do you have to pick and choose between the two? Certainly not. In fact, it is better to live your life being both grateful and appreciative. It’ll help you live a more balanced and happier life.
