Just the other day, I went out with my friend to a Thai restaurant, here in Brooklyn, called Nourish. I had a blast. It was fantastic. Would highly recommend it for anyone living in Brooklyn and that loves Thai cuisine. 

Music was at the right volume and it was easy to have a good conversation going. We ordered some soup, marinated grilled chicken skewers, and duck in a spicy sauce called “grandma special.” So delicious I had to lick my fingers.

It was a bit of an adventure for me. 

I’m one of those crazy creatures from who-knows-what-planet that don’t chew food properly like normal human species do.

I just throw it all in my “garbage disposal”, and for as long as that stupid thing is full, I am a happy man. That pretty much sums me up:) 

I’m pretty simple. May be too simple for some.

And so I did just that. I gobbled everything. 

Shortly after, I noticed something was wrong. Oh, those peppers..those damn peppers. I only realized what I ate, after it was all gone. I saw a small piece of red thingy on the plate with some seeds in it. 

My face started to turn red and I started to feel a lot of pressure from the sides. The walls were closing in on me. Literally. The eyes got red and watery. The body started to shiver. I started to sweat. That was scary and fun. Weird mix of emotions going on.

Damn! That heat was real. I started laughing uncontrollably.

For me, a completely normal reaction to an absurd or weird situation. Which is not that normal:)

I often laugh at myself, when I realize I do something silly or dumb. I realized that If you can’t really eat spicy food, you probably shouldn’t be ordering one in the first place… Well life is an adventure, isn’t it ?!

That one time when I decided to be courageous and order something hot. From personal experience going out in Brooklyn, the level of spiciness always varies from place to place. Never know what you are getting until you try. 

Needless to say, I chugged the water we had on the table. And I asked my friend, please facilitate a steady water supply, I’d be needing a lot of it. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk. Everything went blind. I actually thought, I wasn’t gonna make it. 

Yeah, I know how low my “spicy-threshold is”. I can do a mild chili pepper, and maybe some Sriracha sauce.

But that’s as wild as I’m usually willing to go.

This time, those spicy peppers really did a number on me. I’ve never shivered from spiciness before. What a crazy weird experience, felt like a heart attack or something. The heart was racing. Damn, It was hot!

I’ve actually never had anything even remotely as spicy as that. Also me eating the whole thing, and chewing on those seeds didn’t help either. My friend had gotten me something that tasted like a milk shake.

A mind is a funny thing. I’ve never had a milk shake in my life. I’ve never even seen one. But for some reason, I imagined, If I had one, it must taste like that. Huh!

Much later, I found out it was a Thai Iced tea. A pretty good drink. Not that I like to drink sweet stuff, I don’t, but this was not the case to be picky.

It was perfect.

It helped so much. It actually completely neutralized the burning sensation I had in my mouth and lips. But only for as long as I was drinking it.

I had three. I chugged all of them. Only then to realize, It’s probably best to sip it, instead. 

I also ordered one extra one, to take it with me, for the road:) Just to help me get home. I knew I wouldn’t make two blocks without one.

The Staff was so friendly and accommodating, I was amazed. I appreciated that so much. As far as I could tell, they saved my life. 

Obviously it’s not accurate. People probably don’t die from eating red peppers.

But I genuinely thought I was gonna die. At some point It got to the point that I couldn’t see. Just completely lost sight.

All I could feel is the burn, shivering, and insane pressure from all sides of my head. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t talk.

I was stunned. The iced tea helped me get to normal real quick.

I’ve never had such a blast! For a moment there, I completely forgot I was with my friend, and that there were other people there. That’s how spicy it was for me, the world around disappeared. Haha.

What makes it all even sillier, is that I know if you measure spiciness on the scale of one to ten, it probably wouldn’t be higher than four. I’m a tough guy I know 🙂

When we left the place, I couldn’t stop smiling. That first moment walking outside and sipping on my Thai tea, was the happiest I’ve ever been.

I instantly caught and recognized that ever-familiar feeling, the sheer gratitude of being alive. It’s euphoric. 

I had that same feeling of such intensity only a few times in my life. And both of them, were the moments after getting out of Emergency room from the hospital.

That’s the feeling of appreciating life and everything around. It’s the feeling of unconditional love for every little thing around you. It’s ecstatic. It doesn’t last long though.

Another thing I noticed, when you don’t judge yourself much, and you are able to laugh at yourself and have compassion, and not take yourself seriously every moment of your life, …something good happens.

You appreciate the present moment more. 

At least I do. For instance, back then, I didn’t care how silly or dumb I looked. In my mind I was too busy fighting for my life, haha. And as far as I can tell, I won.

And so I celebrated and cherished the victory. That’s how my mind works. I genuinely appreciate every little thing. Because I don’t think they are little. 

Funny thing, that moment, when I got outside, anyone else would probably make a mental note to never do that again. And my friend was probably making a mental note of her own— to never ever go out with me again:)

Me, all I could think was that this whole experience was amazing. I said to myself, “We should do more of those!”

Hah, maybe I’m an idiot. But you know…I’ve never met anyone happier than me. Ever. In my 31 years of life. I probably do something right.

And that something is probably my ability to enjoy myself’s company.

I think it’s very important to learn to be happy on your own and to see everything and everyone else as a bonus.

It works for me. It might not work for you. You gotta find what floats your boat. And do more of that.

One other thing I got from this experience was  me realizing that I was laughing at myself. It made me truly happy in that moment.

I didn’t used to laugh at myself. I was always kind of uptight and reserved person. I still am.

I’m super introverted. But the more I meditate, the less I worry how my behavior looks on the outside, and more how I feel on the inside. 

Meditation is one thing that has absolutely changed my life like nothing else did.

It just transformed the quality of everyday mundane experience, and gave me clarity on things like health, wellbeing, happiness, and the most important – family. 

It helped me shove my pride up my butt and finally make amends with my father, and get in touch with my feelings.

Realized that I was holding a grudge. And then heal myself.

It taught me compassion, love and kindness. I’ve only ever felt a taste of those, now I know what they actually are. 

It’s okay not to have all the answers. Be kind to yourself, and good things will happen.